Letting Go

It seems as if it was only yesterday that I held my baby in my arms for the first time. My heart swelled with love and joy. As your tiny little hand grabbed on to my finger and I held your tiny little hand, tears of happiness came to my eyes. I would always hold onto you – be there for you, I promised, no matter what.

Mobility came as you started to crawl. I just had to make sure there was nothing on the floor which would hurt you, closing doors to rooms to keep you safe. I held your hands as you started to walk and watched you closely as you took those first steps on your own. I made sure to have locks on the cupboard doors and padding on the sharp corners. It was my responsibility to keep you safe. I’ll never forget those falls – and whether you were physically hurt or just your pride – you would look up at me with those tear filled eyes. I would grab you and hug you and love you. I would watch over you and protect you forever – I promised.

The years go on – holding on the back of your bike as you learn to ride on your own, those wobbly legs as you learn to roller skate, and lest we forget – the climbing of trees and all other sort of things that give mother fits. But all the time I was there – ready to grab you, protect you, guide you and love you – I promised.

Oh then came those wonderful teenage years and new challenges.
I couldn’t watch you as closely. You didn’t want me to hug you and hold onto you, you wanted your independence. It came the time of the “driver’s permit.” I was in that car as you learned how to drive, my heart anxiously watching to make sure you would be a safe driver for I still had to do all I could to protect you. Time moved on and you had your license and off you go. I couldn’t be with you all the time – I worried and fretted. I loved you. I had promised to keep you safe and protected – always.

As you grew from that little baby to the person you are today – I have always had to let you go. I have had to let you go, to crawl, to walk, to climb, to ride, and to drive. I now have to let you go and let you live your own live, to make your own decisions, to make your own mistakes, and to let you learn from all of it.

Through all those years of watching over you, I did a few other things for you too. I taught you right from wrong. I taught you that not only do I love you, and your father loves you – but so does our Heavenly Father love you. You are a child of God. I did my best to teach you correct principles. And more than anything else – I prayed for you. I prayed for your health and safety, for your protection, for you to make good choices, and for you to know that you are loved. I learned that I can’t always be there to watch over you, to protect you and to keep you safe. But I can pray for you always, because I love you – no matter what.

As I ponder about these things, it makes me realize how thankful I am for a Heavenly Father who cared and loved each one of us so much that he sent us his Son. His Son, Jesus Christ, whom not only taught us, but bled for us in the Garden of Gethsemane as an atoning sacrifice, and who allowed himself to be crucified, then came back to life to give us the gift of Resurrection. I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who watches over me – but also you – and knows of my joys and my sorrow as you go through this life making both good and bad choices. I am thankful for Jesus Christ and his atonement – not just for you as you will learn that you need to repent from those mistakes you are making, but for me as I watch you make those mistakes and I learn to live with your choices – to let you go.
I am grateful to a Heavenly Father who taught me by example of letting go – letting me go to come here to this earth, to make my own choices, but always watching over me, always there for me, always loving me.

As I let you go to make your own choices, I want you to know I am always watching over you the best I can as I kneel in prayer to my Heavenly Father to watch over you for me. I want you to know that I will always be there – no matter what – always loving you. I will always be there with my arms out-stretched waiting to enfold you in them and welcoming you home. You are my child. I love you. I will always be there for you – I promised.